Mental illness and mental health

 

In recent years there has been a shift in how much people are willing to talk about mental health problems. It is probably now more likely that someone would 'admit' (for that is the word that is usually used) to having a mental health problem than they would have done ten years ago. Because we don't 'admit' to having cancer or arthritis, you can sense that there is a lot of social pressure and views of mental illness which differ from those of physical illness. 

Perhaps mental health, as opposed to illness, is also a bit better understood now, in the sense that there are certain things which promote a more balanced and happier mind and seem to prevent the maladaption of having your mind interrupt your normal life. I have reproduced a poster that lists things that are good for your mental health or mental hygiene. My definition of mental illness, I suppose, is when what is happening in your head starts to make you unable to function in the everyday world. And even if you can function, you could count it as mental illness if you were so tortured by feelings from inside your head that it swamped all the happiness out of your life. Even though you looked fine to other people.

It is this last state that touches my heart most when I think about people I know who have had mental illness, demons, whatever you call it. And some of them are no longer with us. I feel huge sympathy for that feeling of being cut off from the normal life and happiness of other people by what they cannot see is going on inside you. Maybe they should be able to see, but sometimes you just cannot. And then you feel huge compassion for the lonely state of someone who cannot get out from inside their own head. 

What can we do to help each other? Talking is good; listening is even better. You don't need to be qualified to be able to hear someone explain what is happening between their ears. You don't need to have a cure or plan, just listening makes it something that is stuck less firmly in only the head of the sufferer. All of the 'tips for mental health' above are good starts too. Going out for a walk and talking to your friend is even better than staying at home and doing it. I believe that for most mental illnesses, a good friend is as useful to you as a trained counsellor, because you know them and they can listen as well as anyone else. But I acknowledge that some forms of professional treatment, such as CBT, do seem to have a good effect.

There is one thing that does worry me a little about our current relationship with mental health, and that is the role that social media and internet marketing has in our understanding of what benefits our health. I find several adverts on my feed for counselling and mental wellness services, and it just feels a bit wrong that we should be encouraged to consume these as services rather than find the solution among our friends and among nature. The other side of the internet which worries me is that many people self-diagnose a condition (eg 'trauma') or a relationship (eg 'narcissism') based on poorly thought-out and flaky content which is designed more for clicks than solutions. I believe that introspection can be the enemy of progress and mental calm when it comes to our mental health. I do not think there are any mental problems that improve by us turning them over and over in our heads. On the contrary, I think this over-focus just makes the problem push out more of our normal life and function. 

But I am not saying 'just pull yourself together', which was a common suggestion in the past when a mental problem was revealed. I understand that the problem is a real one if it is real to you in the sense that it stops you functioning. And I know that listening to you is the best first thing that I can do. And also that suggesting a pat solution might make you think that I am trying to sweep your problem off the table. My listening might help you, but you probably need more than that to come out the other side of it, even if sometimes all you need is time. 

And finally, if we are saying it is easier now to talk about mental illness, I should mention that despite my horribly optimistic demeanour, there was a time at University, nearly 50 years ago when I had a mental health problem. It seemed like a quiet nervous breakdown and came about six months after my father's death. It could have been linked to that, but also when you go to a new environment it can sometimes affect you strongly. Anyway, I found after a period of insomnia that I was nearly aphasic. I could hardly get any words out, and my mental functions seemed to be really slowed down. This continued for a period of several months (and of course I never sought any help for it, teenager as I was) and it slowly faded away, but left a slight numbness for a number of years. It seems like a different person when I think about it now. But it was me, and presumably has been folded into the me now and the ways that I think and behave. Maybe the positive message from this - because that's the kind of message I like - is that all things pass, even the bad ones.