International Women's Day and Cro

 This Saturday, March 8th is International Women's Day, as it is every year. I have a badge that says 'It's on 19th November' which I will wear on that day because it is the answer to the question "So when is International Men's Day?" Some people think, hem hem, that the Men's day might get less attention because it is actually men's day 365 days a year. That is not fair, but there is a little truth in it.

So Cro organised the above event in Woodbridge library on March 8th 2023 and spoke very passionately about why (I'll link a video below). All of you who were there, and we eventually squeezed about a hundred women and two or three men - me included - into the library by gradually sliding back the shelves, know how much fun it was. It was also supposed to be two weeks before Cro died (see the oxygen cylinder). On Feb 8th we had been informed that all care would now be palliative and when Cro pressed further a bit later about how long she had, a nurse said around six weeks. So March 8th was meant to be death's door, but Cro thought it was still important to do this. As it joyfully turned out, at the last moment the immunotherapy treatment started to work so we had a whole extra season of three months before the cancer reasserted itself. 

But back to IWD, which will be celebrated in Woodbridge tomorrow, including a raising of the suffragette flag at 11:00 am. Possibly the very flag on Cro's knees in the photo. Other staunch Woodbridge women, not least our County and District councillor Ruth Leach, are organising all the events on the day, including sending proceeds to the Kiva small-loans charity which was close to Cro's heart because it can release the potential of women in much poorer countries to raise the living standards of their families. 

The Woodbridge celebration also includes shop window displays dedicated to 30 outstanding Women of Suffolk, which Cro collected in 2022. She noticed that if you searched for 'Famous Suffolk Women' before that, there were only about ten names that came up on Google. The usual suspects such as Elizabeth Garrett Anderson (a truly remarkable medical pioneer who broke down the amazingly ferocious barriers to women entering medicine in the late 19th century in England) are justifiably famous, but it seemed like there must be more. The round-about-ten figure is part of the lazy school project side of Google at work (and the lazy side of most people, journalists included). Cro easily found enough to make up the 30 needed, and you can see their whole interesting biographies if you walk through Woodbridge this month.

But back to Cro's views on the need for this day. There are many injustices and unfairnesses that women still face in this country, even though compared to other countries in the world we have a fairer situation. Some of that fairness is very recent. I know women of around my age who had to ask for a guarantor when seeking a mortgage because single women were 'unreliable risks' for building societies. It was not until 1948 that women were allowed to receive degrees from Cambridge University. 

I will not speak at length about the practical injustices, such as the pay gap between men and women or the assumption that a woman's career is the one that should be interrupted by raising children rather than having the Scandinavian assumption that both men and women might want to raise their children in a way that benefited both the children and each parent's career. Instead I will talk about 'mansplaining'. In fact I will explain to you what mansplaining is, which I think is pretty meta.

To the small minority who haven't heard, mansplaining is when a man assumes he knows something in more detail or with more surety than the woman to whom he is explaining it, and goes to great lengths to correct any misunderstandings which he thinks the woman has. Its better alter-ego name is 'Correctile Dysfunction' which I feel should be used much more.

Cro always maintained that if a woman came up with a great idea in a meeting - a county council committee as a random example - none of the men could really understand it until a man had pinched it and re-suggested it. There is truth in this. A man sounds much more convincing, even if he is a complete air-head. So prolix dolts will dominate a mixed-sex meeting and use up valuable oxygen because they feel they have a right to. 

Cro also told me about phoning the very helpful IT help desk as a middle-aged female councillor with a problem she had not been able to diagnose after much trying. The young man asked if she had tried turning it on and off. Cro could not resist asking his age and told him "I rebuilt my first Mac two years before you were born". But the assumption is there. Men know and women listen. 

And that is one thing that IWD is also about. But I'd like to put a link to finish with Cro opening the day in 2023. Enjoy. And celebrate.

(PS if the video doesn't work I will link it by some other means. Please tell me if it doesn't work for you.)