"You're an intellectual dosser, Gillard!"

 

(NB: me and my schoolmates in 1977. I'm top right)

I have a surprisingly retentive memory, and despite my garrulous nature I am a very good listener. Quite often my siblings will say " How do you remember that? (to which I may start facetiously relating some memory-laying process I have read about on Google)

So trust me, I am very likely to remember things you have done, but especially things you have said when surrounded by emotion;

The 'dosser' quite was from our beloved head of sixth form, the late Jack Canning, in late 76 or early 77. He taught me history and also ran the Oxbridge entry group I attended at Hinsley's Grammar in Bradford, trying to get into Pembroke college in my case. I failed, but that was probably to my benefit. I drank pints of Morrels in the Bear inn with two applicants from Eton and one from Amplefotth, and they seemed much more confident than this intellectual dosser. But I did OK at Manchester and listened and remembered. They were nice enough chaps and just following their own paths. And I mine.

Some other quotes, from emotional occasions later:

"Oh, Johnny, you're at peace at last" (My mother to my father)

"I'm so sorry Paddy Jo, I've ruined your life" (Cro to me - And my reply  "You have done nothing at all wrong my love, but I'm very annoyed with some of your badly-behaved cells")

"How can you tell your children there's something worse than dying? (an acquaintance talking about the death of their first child, 20 years later)

I have many many lovely memories NOT linked to death too, I hasten to add. But I do remember all these things intensely over decades. But please don't be sensitive about it. Fire away, and consider yourself all grist to my mill and to the mill that turns between us, until only your side is still turning.

So they say that memory is very interlocked to place and emotions. Each element cements the other elements. And I have so many of these and intend to lay down many more these next few years. 

And I urge you to commit to being a good listener yourself. Remember these words I have passed on to you, and all the fragments of other people's lives that you will take forward on this good earth and will pass on to others.