Language and cancer

 

A note on language from a spod: My siblings know how much I dislike the word ‘veggies’ just on general principle, so will not be surprised if I have firm (and possibly unreasonable) preferences with cancer. You will also have read on here about Sprachgefühl and understand how tragically I am affected by it. I don’t mind what anybody else says, but these are my (prejudices) choices :

1: I am not on a cancer ‘journey’. I was on a journey around the USA, but this is just an illness that is affecting me. It started and will find its resolution one way or another. That’s not a journey.

2: I am not ‘fighting’ cancer. It has no will or volition and doesn’t know who I am. I am following the excellent advice of the medical team so that this disease leaves me in the best possible state. The disease is an error in my own cells, but not because I did anything wrong. Shit just happens. Because I am not fighting I am also not ‘brave’. I may need to be resolute, but that is different.

3: Death is not a man in a black hood. Death is purely the absence of life. If my body cannot continue living any more - as all of ours eventually will – then I won’t be in the hands of some other entity, I will just be no longer alive. My conversation will dry up tremendously.

4: When I die, I would like it to be described as dying, rather than any of the other terms that you can use. And even though I obviously won’t know what terms you do use, I’d be happy if you just say ‘died’.

5. A friend, whose husband died, also had an objection to the whole 'living with cancer' narrative. This seems better-motivated to me, as it is reminding people that you should stop talking about Big C and all that when so many treatments improve quality of life and longevity. But I suppose the objection could be that you are still implicitly associating the person and their personhood with a mere disease. Couldn't we just be 'living' until we are not living any more, for whatever reason. ("I'm living with cancer, but I am cheating with life on the side....") I'll ponder this one.